Hello Dick. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it has definitely left its marks. I never spend money on anything, and whenever I do I'm so afraid . I always think that I need to save it all the time, and not waist it. I am always afraid of having nothing, not even a pennie to buy a piece of bread. And even if now I have some comfort in my life, I still cling on to this feeling that it may all go away...

I'm taking this week of work because I'm sad, tried, and I am also writing a paper for my former University. But all I think of is the "money I am not earning because I am resting".

I'm not a capitalist, far from it. I am just afraid of poverty. And poverty never comes along, it always comes with violence, fear, addictions, depression, so many bad things...

I still have anxiety because of all those teenage years I spent alone in my house. I obviously wrote a lot about me, just parts of my life, but those three years when I lost all that weight and only Susana noticed ( not even my parents looked at me), they were the worst part of my life. I bet if I lived in a city I would be dead by now. I would probably have killed myself, or just hurt me in someway. But I was so lonely that all I could do was cry, or study too much.

I still do that. I am studying, and writing perhaps to not think too much about what's going on.

Thank you for the doves, I love them <3 If only everybody was as nice as you, the world would be definitely a better place to stay.

Obrigada <3